Denied, Denied, Denied

Denied, Denied, Denied

Or, “Sorry you’re sick, you’re just not sick enough.”

I was having a relatively good day, and by that I mean I made it downstairs to the couch.

That all changed when the mail came.

It seems I have been denied for disability again. This is my second application and my first appeal. That’s three denials for those keeping score at home.*

According to the Social Security Administration I am not sick enough to not have full-time employment. This may prove problematic because, as I mentioned above, my good days lately mean I can make it from my bed to my couch.

Perhaps it is because I have so often been misdiagnosed and dealt with many dismissive doctors over the course of treating my illnesses, but there is always a part of me that fears that I will not be taken seriously, that no one will help me treat my constant pain. And as a walking, talking bundle of pre-existing conditions, I am also terrified that I will soon be back to being uninsurable if (when?) the ACA is rolled back. Lacking income or benefits does nothing to allay those fears, instead the little part of my brain dedicated to worry, gets a little bit stronger and more vocal.

So I guess I am confused about my chronic debilitating pain and illness, I thought for sure I had stellar Professional Patient Resume, at least good enough to pass this portion of the application. A brief snippet from the experience portion:

  • Three brain surgeries, performed at world-class universities/teaching hospitals
  • Tried more medications (and experienced a wonderfully diverse array of strange side effects) than were ever mentioned over the entire 177 episodes of House MD
  • Participated in multiple surgeries and cutting edge procedures to eliminate facial pain, including, but not limited to: three-day Ketamine coma, Botox, nerve blocks, PRP, laser burning of the trigeminal nerve.
  • Spent a good majority of days not leaving my bedroom.

I thought for sure I was sick enough. Turns out I need more experience, or a really good attorney.

Just another one of the many things you learn while living life with chronic pain and illness. I feel like I’ve done more than enough learning for a lifetime.


*why yes I do use humor to cope with my illness, why do you ask?